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 Ah, Dane. PHOTO: © ASP / CESTARI
Simmer and relax, padre. Remember, stress can cause aggressive Eczema so lets go through those slow and laboured breathing techniques because in about 20 hours from now the semi finals of the 2010 Quik Pro will be underway. Will it be Jordy? Bobo? Or will Taj shaft it and scamper off into the corner like a stray with scarps and put his points toward that long awaited maiden title? Either way, I’m not interested. I’m in the Dane camp. I always used to be in Joels’ camp but I have less morals than the entire Chelsea dressing room, so I switched. My reasons for my seemingly unwavering allegiance to the Gold Coaster were pretty much the same as the ones behind my secret admiration for Aresnal. They are the nearly team; always looming and posing a threat to pip the big three to the title most importantly, like the great Joel, they have that style - which for superficial photo whores like me, is far more arousing than a statistic. But then my loyalty changed. Cue the quarters, cue the unofficial best surfer in the world and a frenzied, but well resisted spanking of Parko’s raw bottom. One minute I’m all ‘Go Joel! Go Joel!’ The next it’s ‘hellooooooo pretty,’ and as quick as the most premature ejac I ever had, I was converted. So, Dane will no doubt destroy Jordy and Taj will have to dispatch of Bobo Martinez, just to have a stab at beating my new man.
Oh, and another thing, did you know I’m actually a Chelsea fan? Like I said; no morals whatsoever.
QUIKSILVER PRO GOLD COAST ROUND 4 RESULTS: Heat 1: Adriano de Souza (BRA) 14.86 def. Adrian Buchan (AUS) 14.50 Heat 2: Taj Burrow (AUS) 16.53 def. Chris Davidson (AUS) 10.60 Heat 3: Bobby Martinez (USA) 16.06 def. Damien Hobgood (USA) 12.43 Heat 4: Kai Otton (AUS) 15.76 def. Mick Fanning (AUS) 15.57 Heat 5: Joel Parkinson (AUS) 15.44 def. Fredrick Patacchia (HAW) 14.23 Heat 6: Dane Reynolds (USA) 12.63 def. Daniel Ross (AUS) 10.33 Heat 7: Bede Durbidge (AUS) 15.97 def. Kieren Perrow (AUS) 9.17 Heat 8: Jordy Smith (ZAF) 16.10 def. Kelly Slater (USA) 13.17 QUIKSILVER PRO GOLD COAST ROUND QUARTERFINAL RESULTS: QF 1: Taj Burrow (AUS) 17.70 def. Adriano de Souza (BRA) 14.40 QF 2: Bobby Martinez (USA) 16.66 def. Kai Otton (AUS) 10.64 QF 3: Dane Reynolds (USA) 19.20 def. Joel Parkinson (AUS) 17.47 QF 4: Jordy Smith (ZAF) 14.10 def. Bede Durbidge (AUS) 13.77 QUIKSILVER PRO GOLD COAST ROUND SEMIFINAL MATCH-UPS: SF 1: Taj Burrow (AUS) vs. Bobby Martinez (USA) SF 2: Dane Reynolds (USA) vs. Jordy Smith (ZAF) ROXY PRO GOLD COAST ROUND 3 RESULTS: Heat 1: Coco Ho (HAW) 15.17 def. Amee Donohoe (AUS) 3.97 Heat 2: Sally Fitzgibbons (AUS) 16.33 def. Bruna Schmitz (BRA) 14.84 Heat 3: Rebecca Woods (AUS) 14.60 def. Paige Hareb (NZL) 11.08 Heat 4: Stephanie Gilmore (AUS) 16.00 def. Tyler Wright (AUS) 14.03 ROXY PRO GOLD COAST REMAINING ROUND 3 MATCH-UPS: Heat 5: Silvana Lima (BRA) vs. Lee Ann Curren (FRA) Heat 6: Chelsea Hedges (AUS) vs. Rosanne Hodge (ZAF) Heat 7: Melanie Bartels (HAW) vs. Jessi Miley-Dyer (HAW) Heat 8: Sofia Mulanovich (PER) vs. Carissa Moore (HAW)
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