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Written by ben selway
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Friday, 16 April 2010 10:29 |
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COTTY: I was really excited about coming home. Massive, massive anti climax.
me: Haha...why?
COTTY: It’s pretty much the same as being in hospital
me: Bless. Is everyone rallying around you?
COTTY: Mother is
me: Dear of her
COTTY: It’s already pissing me off
me: Ah mate, she's just worried. enjoy it, you'll be doing the same for your sprogs one day
COTTY: Whatever me: Oi, Cotty, did you get on with your fellow bed mates?
COTTY: managed to avoid small talk the whole time I was there
me: so fucking miserable
COTTY: I then got cornered by some old dear yesterday for nearly 2 hours
me: Class.
COTTY: Fuck me I walked away knowing her whole life story
me: What did you talk about?
COTTY: She was a mistress visiting her boyfriend, avoiding his wife and kids. She told me she is scared of lifts too
me: No way. Was she hot?
COTTY: She was 80. She had been seeing her man for 37 years behind his wife’s back
me: Mental
COTTY: ….she was tarted right up, I couldn't get away
me: Did you panic?
COTTY: Yeah, it was the only person I spoke to in 4 days
me: Fuckin’ ell. Did you get her number?
COTTY: No
Me: So now you’ve only got your old dear to talk to
COTTY: Aagh
me: Bye. me: How bored are you? Scale of 1-10?
COTTY: 10 out of 1 is how bored I am
me: Cool, been masturbating much?
COTTY: Been wanking 3 times a day
me: seen your ex-missus lately?
COTTY: No.
me: Have you tried Russian mail order brides? Some smokers on there. Why dont you get one?
COTTY: Could do
me: Might as well..
COTTY: Will have to ask mum if she could stay first
me: that's fine, you could get her to do all the shit around the house..yer ma will be stoked
COTTY: true, I'll get one today then
me: ok
Unhappy Cotty.
Disgusting.
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Last Updated on Friday, 16 April 2010 10:51 |
